Marketeers survival guide:

Over here at SquareThursday, we are such veterans of the market trading experience we thought we should impart some top tips, hints and words of wisdom should you ever find yourself in the position of selling your wares on a stall.

1)Stay warm. 

Particularly in winter layers are your friend. Lots of jumpers, coats, long johns, GLOVES, scarves, hats, hoods, vests, blankets, pillows, hell bring a duvet. Also wear as many pairs of socks as will fit in your shoes. Wear warm shoes. Also bring some kind of cardboard/newspaper/carpet scrap to stand on. This will stop the cold from creeping from the street and into your feet. Tramps have been doing this for years and they defo know how to stay warm. (If you must resort to drinking out of coldness/boredom aim to do it a bit later on, afternoon drunk is charming, morning drunk is frowned upon.)

2) Ignore the customer!

They may always be right but they are also timid. British people are a bit like kittens, inquisitive but easily spooked. I know everyone likes to invisage the quaint cockney stall holder ranting and hustling but unless you are some kind off mind control agent, (or a gab gifted cockaneeey) best to not speak unless spoken too.

3) "I'll be back... honest."

These are the words you never want to hear a customer say. 8.35 times out of ten, they wont be. Even if they have every intention of coming back any number of things could happen. They could be struck by lightning, abducted by aliens/ex-lovers, or have to hurry home because they worked out the answer to 7 down in the Guardian crossword from the day before and everything else faded into insignificance. Variations of the 'I'll be back' include: 'I'm going to think about it', 'I need to ask my spouse', and worst of all 'I'm going to go straight to a cash point.'  

4)Be prepared. 

A trading day can feel long as. Bring lots of snacks & some form of entertainment. This can be a: book, game, puzzle, craft activity, laptop or if your lucky a friend.

5) Speaking of friends...

Friends are great. If your as lucky as we are and have such wonderful, generous (and did i mention good-looking?) friends, they will come and keep you company, bring you treats, warmth and even buy your stuff. Even if they don't actually buy anything, friends are useful for posing as potential customers, this makes real customers feel less threatened & more likely to approach you!

Don't you just love friends?

Jasper
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